week ten:

Week ten:

Individual work:

Overcoming difficulties in difficult times...

With a shoot planned on the 14th with original model Lauren brown, I was all set to carry out my final test shoot. Below were some rough ideas I was planning to carry out:

In a time of COVID-19, carrying out practical modules proved challenging at times. Already, arranging shoots in a safe environment proved challenging. Taking photographs in homes and having to touch equipment in someone uses household already slightly undermined the government guidelines. Being a student and knowing I wasn’t seeing anyone vulnerable, most students doing practical models such as photography and other media focused courses also agreed with the struggle, discussing some of the issues my housemate had had in doing even more hands on courses such as film making in a time of social distancing and health risks. Despite this, I was happy with my test shoot and the submitted images.

The day before doing my final shoot, of which my plans for the photographs can be seen here:

My friend messaged me informing he had just been tested positive with corona-virus. Instantly messaging Lauren and informing her I would have to take a test (I was still convinced that I had not caught it as I hadn’t been in close contact but had seen him a few days prior). As the evening progressed symptoms surfaced and I was certain I was positive with corona-virus. Disappointed in its effect of my academic work and progression in my module, I ordered a test kit and then proceeded to rest. The next few days really effected my progression in the module/ put them at a pause. I was left bed bound and extremely sick with corona-virus. I had planned to move my final shoot with knowledge I needed to use Lauren’s projector as I had no other friends with the equipment I needed.

Although I was hopeful, by the time I recovered (on the 16th of December) Lauren was no longer available to use as a model or access to her projector. Despite this hindering my projects initial idea, I believed that overcoming this challenge would prove a certain sense of adaptability to the environment and situation happening around me - a global pandemic like we’ve never really seen before. After feeling somewhat better, but still suffering from symptoms my friends hadn’t such as extreme nausea and loss of balance, I decided to contact the model I used for my previous project in first year in which I explored a different theme, and asked if she would be ok to model for me. Knowing I would have to completely adapt my idea and instead utilize things such as makeup and masks to adapt my project but stay in theme with the idea of domestic abuse.

Below is the plan I made for adapting my project:

New mood boards:

Adapted plan:

• All shots are planned to be taken outside but 1 in which the idea was to see the models hand behind the window.

Drafting a new proposal for the sake of creating a clear structure and also helping me with my critical introduction:

 Submitted proposal/ project planning:

 - I decided to go through my submitted proposal and find the aspects of it that were still relevant to my project so I could still use them for my finalized critical introduction:

 'Masked’ is an exploration into both the physical and psychological impact of the global pandemic on victims of domestic abuse. By utilising the homonym “masked” in the title, I hoped to reflect both the mandatory wearing of face masks for the protection of citizens due to the COVID-19 outbreak as well as the heightened ability for abusers to conceal their actions in a time of physical and social distancing (Taub, A., 2020).  

With the constant reminder to cooperate by staying at home dominating conversations thus creating opportunistic conditions for abusers at home (Taub, A., 2020),  I wanted to use this project as an opportunity to educate both myself and those viewing my work on the uncomfortable topic at hand. I decided to use projector photography to provide the images with texture. I thought the realism of portraiture combined with the fictitious effect of projecting images onto people would successfully convey a message. Ultimately, the message I wanted to convey was the inevitable suffering that is currently happening because the pandemic is many people's worst fear whilst being a lot of people's reality. As well as having a visual impact, I also wanted to use projector photography to emphasise a message namely, that domestic abuse happens at no fault of the victims. It is simply pain and suffering that is inflicted or quite literally projected onto them. I hoped to further this sense of helplessness through using a mugshot style of portraiture (Baylis, G.S., 2018), a physical closeness being displayed in the photographs whilst having a clinical coldness through using black and white.

Despite being unable to relate to the finalised idea of domestic abuse, I have always used creativity as a mode of escape from the suffering or unpredictable occurrences in my life. Dealing with grief by writing songs anticipating the death of my grandad aged 13, poetry when struggling with severe anxiety, waves of depression, and multiple eating disorders, I wanted to gain insight into a struggle I was unfamiliar with. Photography has archival use in the documentation of people's suffering, used as a “tool to be placed in the service of history” (Zeller, B., 2005). Using my creativity to document and create this project only furthered my awareness of using and creating art as a mechanism to distract yourself from either mental or physical suffering happening around you.

The main inspiration behind my project was the work of Rachel Russel, a New Zealand based photographer who used projection photography and human anatomy to convey both meaning and mystery with her work. As well as being inspired by work involving text and literal messages, I was also inspired by images with more of an abstract meaning such as that of Wonjun Jeong who works with floating fabric and projected portraits aimed to explore human identity (My Modern Met, 2017). It is through witnessing the success of conveying an images meaning using projection art and photography of which I wanted to replicate in my work. I have done extensive independent research and reading to further educate me on the issue at hand. As a single student with a safe environment around me, I didn’t want a lack of authenticity or awareness to be reflected in the images produced. As well as independent research, I was inspired by classroom discussions and involvement such as focusing not just on stylistic features of photography but also on the history of it too. I felt empowered in learning through class discussions around the fact that photographers construct their images to portray their message or interest. In realising the power of photographers, I was aware of the power I had in being able to voice the story of those who would have otherwise remained silent or silenced by society. Core and further reading contributed to my understanding of photography's ability to create or portray single or multiple perceptions on a subject, understanding through this research that a photograph “reflect(s) whatever the photographers or editors wish to show” (Mullen, L., 1998).

Initially, my first response to the project brief was to focus broadly on the current mental health crisis happening during and due to the global pandemic. I wanted to explore and depict 3 different issues - eating disorders, domestic abuse, and suicide. At first, I found myself excited at the opportunity to both create and document both others and my journey with my mental health in an uncertain time that we are all wanting to deny as our “new normal”. Determined to produce images demonstrative of the fact that beauty and creativity can be found in times of ugliness. I wanted to utilise this project as a place in which I could display my passion for creative expression whilst developing technical skills and an ability to apply the knowledge gained through extensive research into both photography and the focus I wanted to project - the current mental health crisis. As well as relevance to the current climate, I also knew that an engagement or awareness of the topic at hand would be vital to the portrayal of authenticity through the images I was going to take. It was only until I experimented with a multitude of ideas that I found myself overwhelmed by focusing on so many ideas. I, therefore, decided that executing one effect would be a better use of time.

Something I found interesting yet self-explanatory in such times was the attraction of utilising built up energy from the restriction of staying at home towards activities of productivity such as writing music or painting. Even without purpose, I found such small accomplishments providing me with such energy. And still, with such an array of outlets I still found myself obsessing over small details, hiccups in life, and regretting previous actions or conversations I had had when the world was as we knew it before the pandemic I found myself confined by a routine of being consumed by the past due to the uncertainty of the future. It is in this reminiscence in which I believe photography has its relevance.

When creating a project centred around a heavily stigmatised and highly sensitive topic such as domestic abuse, I knew that the model having complete awareness of the subject matter would be vital to carrying out the project ethically. As well as having a conversation before carrying out the test shoots, I informed my model about the character and situation I wanted her to portray herself as being involved in. Knowing my model beforehand not only allowed me to gain full consent to the use and purpose of the images but also allowed me to gain brief feedback after finalising my first 3 draft images. My model, Lauren Brown, agreed there was a need for an uncomfortable discussion to be had. As well as this, she described her struggle with her mental health in these times of social-distancing, going on to admit that she too used writing and photography as a mode of escape.

Experimentation of different styles of photography was done when starting my project and before finalising my idea. Knowing I wanted to involve the COVID-19 pandemic as a talking point of some of my images while developing those ideas that I decided that the documentary photography style would be the most appropriate medium. With the aim to not only document but also creatively educate, this style of photography “carries (old) information about a group of powerless people to another group addresses as socially powerful” (Rosler, M., 1989).

I believe that producing images of a straightforward and authentic nature capture the adjustments to life that have now been made and highlights the ability to use creativity as a constant, even when facing the unknown. I thought it would be appropriate to also explore photojournalism so that my project is not just as a vision of my own, but a chance to document the stories and realities of many around me. With the global pandemic currently overriding most other news stories around the globe, I thought that photos incorporating the “new normal” may be classified as a sort of journalism. Upon reflection, I realised that unlike photojournalism, documentary photography simply interprets life (Bate, D., 2016).

However, it was through this realisation that I concluded I wanted to establish more of a connection with the subject of the photograph and the viewer. I wanted to gauge proximity between model and lens to mimic a sense of closeness and create a sense of attachment towards the visual story being told (Bate, D., 2016).

Originally, in my test shoot, I was going to project real symbolic images onto my model such as bloody hands and skulls. After concluding all these images were, in the most respectful way, predictable imagery when it came to connotations of abuse, I knew that I wanted to make my project unique and more impactful. Knowing that this was guaranteed because of the circumstances the project was being done under, I wanted to combine the surrealism of the situation, with the brutal reality of the victim's lives - It was with this in mind that I knew a fusion between real and surreal imagery would be most effective.

Aware my images need to be developed further, I hope to focus my project on an issue so relevant to the current every day and the lessons that are yet to be learned and vocalised. It is in saying this that I wish to outline photography's ability to capture the past, teach the present, and warn the future.

Drafted critical introduction: 

 'Masked’ is an exploration into both the physical and psychological impact of the global pandemic on victims of domestic abuse. I hope that my work successfully reflects both the mandatory wearing of face masks for the protection of citizens due to the COVID-19 outbreak as well as the heightened ability for abusers to conceal their actions in a time of physical and social distancing. As the photographer, I still found myself obsessing over small details, hiccups in life, and regretting previous actions or conversations I had had when the world was as we knew it before the pandemic I found myself confined by a routine of being consumed by the past due to the uncertainty of the future. It is in this reminiscence in which I believe photography has its relevance.In my images, I aim to combine the surrealism of the current situation, with the brutal reality of the victim's lives. With a strong relevance to current affairs, my images outline photography's ability to capture the past, teach the present, and warn the future. I believe that producing images of a straightforward and authentic nature capture the adjustments to life that have now been made and highlights the ability to use creativity as a constant, even when facing the unknown. I used projector photography to emphasise a message namely, that domestic abuse happens at no fault of the victims. It is simply pain and suffering that is inflicted or quite literally projected onto them. I hoped to further portray this sense of suffering through producing black and white images, wanting to illustrate a clinical coldness.

 Rewriting my critical introduction for my adapted idea:

'Masked' is an exploration into both the physical and psychological impact of the global pandemic on victims of domestic abuse. I hope that my work successfully reflects the heightened ability for abusers to conceal their actions in a time of safety being maintained by physical and social distancing when closeness and confiding is often a tool used to save people. As the photographer, I still found myself obsessing over small details, hiccups in life, and regretting previous actions or conversations I had had when the world was as we knew it before the pandemic I found myself confined by a routine of being consumed by the past due to the uncertainty of the future. It is in this reminiscence in which I believe photography has its relevance. In my images, I aim to combine the surrealism of the current situation, with the unthinkably brutal reality of the victim's lives. With a strong relevance to current affairs, my images outline photography's ability to capture the past, teach the present, and warn the future - the consequences of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation that needs to be had. I believe that producing images of a straightforward and authentic nature capture the adjustments to life that have now been made and highlights the ability to use creativity as a constant, even when facing the unknown. I used a mixture of projector photography and staged images to emphasize a message namely, that domestic abuse happens at no fault of the victims. Projector photography was successful in highlighting abuse as is simply pain and suffering that is inflicted or quite literally projected onto them. Staged photos helped to illustrate the ability in concealing often fatal situations. I hoped to further portray this sense of suffering through producing black and white images providing a sense of clinical coldness.

First final draft:

'Masked' is an exploration into both the physical and psychological impact of the global pandemic on victims of domestic abuse. I hope that my work successfully reflects the heightened ability for abusers to conceal their actions in a time of safety being maintained by physical and social distancing when closeness and confiding is often a tool used to save people. As the photographer, I still found myself obsessing over small details, hiccups in life, and regretting previous actions or conversations I had had when the world was as we knew it before the pandemic I found myself confined by a routine of being consumed by the past due to the uncertainty of the future. It is in this reminiscence in which I believe photography has its relevance. In my images, I aim to combine the surrealism of the current situation, with the unthinkably brutal reality of the victim's lives. With a strong relevance to current affairs, my images outline photography's ability to capture the past, teach the present, and warn the future - the consequences of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation that needs to be had. I believe that producing images of a straightforward and authentic nature capture the adjustments to life that have now been made and highlights the ability to use creativity as a constant, even when facing the unknown. I used a mixture of projector photography and staged images to emphasize a message namely, that domestic abuse happens at no fault of the victims. Projector photography was successful in highlighting abuse as is simply pain and suffering that is inflicted or quite literally projected onto them. Staged photos helped to illustrate the ability in concealing often fatal situations. I hoped to further portray this sense of suffering by producing black and white images providing a sense of clinical coldness. - 300 words